Gym Break-Up

Yesterday, Boston Sports Clubs and I ended our one-year relationship. (Or more accurately, we began our separation, since there’s a thirty-day “end notice” period and I have a few weeks left to use their nice facilities.) This break-up (like some from my past and perhaps your own?) was premeditated for quite some time before the actual dialogue took place. During my ten-minute face-to-face conversation with their friendly representative, I kept wanting to laugh because of how much the conversation reminded me of a relationship break-up, except for that I felt much more confident. Here’s a rough approximation:

Me: (feeling like I’ve done something wrong) I’m sorry, but I’d like to end my membership.

BSC Guy: Can I ask why?

Me: Financial reasons.

BSC Guy: (surprisingly understanding) Have you… joined another club?

Me: (legitimately surprised; I wouldn’t cheat on my gym. Besides, how could I be paying for TWO gyms?) No…

BSC Guy: Do you know your monthly rate?

Me: Yes, it’s (painful even to speak of it) around $75.

BSC Guy: We have a promo running now where I could get you down to about $63. Would that change your decision?

Me: No. (This is clearly still a ridiculous amount of money. Our relationship is fatally doomed even if you change slightly.)

BSC Guy: OK, well, let me just get a form for you… Really, have you joined another gym? Planet Fitness, maybe?

Me: (protesting my innocence) No! I really like it here! I’ve worked out a lot the past year, and I’m much more fit than I was.  I just… can’t afford this anymore. (signs paperwork)

BSC Guy: Planet Fitness isn’t bad, you know. And it’s wicked cheap, if you’re looking for options.

END SCENE

So on that note, I am on my way to independent fitness maintenance again. I might join a cheaper (much, much cheaper) gym, but not right away. Since I do most of my exercise at the gym, this might be in direct conflict with one of my new year’s resolutions:  #2 Run at least two races, one longer than 5K. However, it supports well: #5 Trim budget in whatever way possible. This was a pretty obvious one.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Gym Break-Up

  1. Too funny!

    I loved Arlington Health and Fitness (on Mass Ave *just* before the intersection of 16 and Mass Ave. It’s definitely no frills but it’s a good gym. And it’s wicked cheap (like $27 a month or so.)

  2. Lianne

    Haha, you’ll get a kick out of this clip from Friends. Chandler tries to quit the gym, but by the end of the episode he has renewed his membership and Ross has joined it, too.

    When I “broke up” with LA Fitness, it was too easy! I marched in all ready to fight but they gave me a form to sign and mail in to their central office. It was actually a little anticlimactic for me.

  3. anna

    just read this out loud to steve and then he came over to read your recent posts over my shoulder. we especially like the enac roundup. entertaining before-bed reading.

  4. I’ve just joined a Planet Fitness that is opening near me next week. At $10 a month, I could hardly say no. Especially since the next cheapest gym I can find anywhere reasonably close is $85.

  5. Kate

    Um… can I just say WOW is $19.99. Free tanning (I know you love that!), free babysitting (again, right?!?!), free classes, and cable tv so destract you while you sweat–and me!!! the #1 fan. If you are super cheap, there’s also a $9.99 plan. If you are not convinced by now, I’m just not sure what to say.

  6. Pingback: Practical Approaches to the Impractical « Unquiet Time

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